Why I won't say I love myself

Loving yourself

 Just like a butterfly, we can grow and transform ourselves into something more beautiful than before.

"Love yourself"

Something most certainly, easier said than done. I'm sure you've noticed the vast amount of content lately aimed at loving yourself. From articles to Youtube videos, blogposts and Instagram pictures, loving yourself has become sort of a movement and what I'd describe as a "trendy issue".

I think it's amazing that this is an issue being more and more talked about and something people are trying to change but through social media, the easiness of sharing these issues can sometimes degrade the issue itself. It's easy to appear as though we are facing it when really we're just masking the real problem.

I keep seeing people confessing that they've learnt to love themselves. They have learnt to accept everything that they are, and love it. Sometimes these words feel empty to me, that the words they're saying are just that, words. I keep getting told to "love myself" and the importance of it and the happiness it can bring me. I'm being told to accept who I am, to accept what I don't like and just learn to love it. But then aren't I just covering the issue up and kidding myself? I don't believe loving yourself is something that you should have to learn or try hard to do. I think it's something that will come naturally once you start changing the things that you don't like into something that you do.

Having confidence and truly loving yourself is amazing. It's a huge achievement to fully accept who you are, especially in today's society.

However, I almost feel pressured into having to accept all the things I don't like about myself. In a previous post 'Becoming you' I wrote all about finding yourself and the importance of change in order to develop into the person you want to be and will love. I'd rather work towards self improvement than mask my issues with a couple of empowering quotes and a "confident" Instagram selfie. Life is about discovery. I don't want to settle and force myself into being happy with who I am right now. I want to grow and expand as a person, I want to be healthier for both my mind and body. I want to actually be able to mean it when I say "I love myself" and not just say the words to create this visage of positivity and self love, when deep down I know it's not true. I will work towards becoming the type of person I want to be, and that I will love.

One day I hope to say "I love myself" and truly mean every word. But right now I don't, so I'm not going to say it.

What I will say is I'm taking steps to better myself and steps towards being a happier person. I'm learning to accept who I am. I'm addressing my flaws and learning to love them, knowing what I'm good at and loving that more, more importantly knowing what I want to change and doing it.

It's a journey. I don't want to jump on the self love bandwagon and preach that I love myself. I don't want to speak words, I want to mean them. This is a journey for myself and I know it will take time. I want to truly come to love myself, and that's why I won't say I love myself.

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It's okay not to be okay

how to deal with stress and anxiety
                       Illustration by myself

It's okay not to be okay.

Life can be amazing. We live on a beautiful planet that offers so much but sometimes everyday life can take over and lead to us feeling down and unhappy.

As emotional beings it's only natural that we're not happy 24/7. Life throws stuff at us all the time, and it most certainly doesn't always go to plan. I feel as though a lot of people believe they're expected to just 'get on with it' and that admitting you're not okay is a sign of weakness, but it really isn't. Ignoring our feelings and letting them build up can cause them to resurface in other ways, such as a lack of motivation or feeling unproductive.

It's unfortunate that we live in a society that doesn't really like to deal with anything except positivity and happiness. This can make us feel lonely when we feel anything but that, almost as if we're doing something wrong. We can feel lonely in world full of people, in a room surrounded by people. It's a loneliness from deep inside. A part of us that's never really touched because we're too afraid to talk about what matters. We live in a society that is so used to filtering out the bad stuff, putting on a smile and saying "I'm fine". We've been made to believe this is what we have to do to live a happy, easy breezy life. But isn't this just faking it?. We think pushing all the bad stuff out of our minds, ignoring pain, ignoring sadness will lead to happiness. But when we're feeling shitty no amount of positive Pinterest quotes are going to help.

We like to drown out our issues with the sugar coated lives of celebrities. We'd rather obsess over what Kylie Jenner puts on her lips than talk about how we are feeling or speak about real issues. This can lead to us feeling like we're living an unfulfilled life, one where we're just 'getting by'. It's become the norm to give off this visage of a perfect life. So much so, we'd rather put more energy into appearing to live perfectly happy lives than actually living a happy life.

Addressing our issues and overcoming them isn't always the easiest option.

However, through acceptance we can be happy. Speaking about our issues, addressing them and understanding them will lead to clarity rather than a built up parasite of repressed feelings. Through accepting it we can learn to face it, move on from it and grow because of it.

It's a lot stronger to confront our issues rather than shut them out. It's healthier to be completely ourselves instead of repressing certain feelings and emotions. In life we're not really taught how to deal with our emotions,  especially difficult ones. Instead we are made to believe it's normal to drown them out which makes it so easy to push that self destruction button. We can end up turning to external things for help that we should really be avoiding, but we can overcome that. The worst thing is, a lot of people go through times were they're not feeling okay, but don't talk about it and instead just ignore it.

It's okay not to be okay. If you're feeling rubbish turn to a friend, partner or your family and just speak to them. If you'd rather deal with things on your own then write your thoughts and feelings down. This can really help in clearing up your mind and helping you understand what it is that you're feeling and how you can work through it. Once you accept it's okay not to be okay, you might feel just a little bit more okay.

Have a read of my Becoming you post for some more mediocre life advice from myself.

Make sure to follow me on Bloglovin to keep up to date with my posts! You can follow me here.

© lottsie

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